Let me start by saying the new Star Wars VII trailer looks pretty sweet!  I didn’t post it right away, but this gives me a chance to voice my opinions to everyone else out there who’s had an opinion (or problem) with it.

First off, here’s the trailer for any of the hut-dwelling inhabitants of Dagobah who may not have seen it yet.

To all the internet trolls out there who complained about a black Stormtrooper, I don’t see what the big deal is.  This is NOT the first time anyone’s ever seen a black Stormtrooper.  We had ’em in the original Star Wars…

01. Tie Fighter Pilot


The other bit of craziness has spawned off the new cross-bladed lightsaber that we saw in the trailer.  First of a new batch of Star Wars films gets a new lightsaber style, right?

02. Star Wars 1 - Darth Maul lightsaber

So now we have this…

03. Star Wars 7 - Official lightsaber

I have no idea what purpose the mini horizontal blades (that resemble a sword’s hilt) would serve.  And you know what?  Don’t care.  IT”S A TEASER!  We’ll all find out later, I’m sure.  Nevertheless, some people out there (I’m looking at you Reddit) decided that this new lightsaber deserves to be memed.  I tend to agree and find the end-results hilarious.

First, a closer look at the new saber.

04. Star-Wars-7-Crossguard-Lightsaber

Now, let’s put some more blades on it.

05. Star Wars 7 - Blades everywhere lightsaber

Not bad, but let’s make that last one a little neater.

06. Star Wars 7 - Blades everywhere lightsaber 2

Ooh! What about a chainsaw lightsaber???

07. Star Wars 7 - Chainsaw lightsaber

That last one was pretty sweet, but can you top a Swiss Army Saber?

08. Star Wars 7 - Swiss Army lightsaber

The Holidays are upon us, what about a festive Christmas Tree Saber?

09. Star Wars 7 - Christmas tree lightsaber

Ok, now let’s add some more color to it.

010. Star Wars 7 - Christmas tree lightsaber 2

Can’t forget about our Jew-ish friends here.

011. Star Wars 7 - Menorah lightsaber

But now it seems Jesus wants a part of the action.

012. Star Wars 7 - Jesus lightsaber

But let us not forget that this last one is a re-hash of an original design that The Oatmeal came up with a couple years ago

013. wookie-jesus-framed-painting

Which if you turned the blade upside-down would give us the “new” cross bladed lightsaber?  Methinks The Oatmeal should be getting a cut of this!

And while we’re on the subject of lightsaber variations, how handy would lightsabers (in general) be in a zombie apocalypse like in The Walking Dead?

014. Star Wars 7 - Walking Dead lightsabers

Just gotta figure out a proper way to give Daryl Dixon some sort of crossbow that shoots mini-lightsaber arrows?